False Familiarity
by AshenMoon42
Summary: Every shadow was a lurking enemy. Every stranger was a spy. Every glow of a street lamp was the Dark Mark. Minerva McGonagall didn't know what trust was anymore. / There is a spy in the Order, and it eats away at the soul.


**This is for the Honeydukes challenge on the Reviews Corner Forum.**

 **Prompt: (character) Minerva McGonagall**

 **False Familiarity**

The house was dark, with mould clinging to the walls and cobwebs cowering in the corners. The wallpaper was peeling and the rooms empty. The lights were dim and the ceilings were low - it felt like a cave.

But upon entering the third room, Minerva found her spirits lifting. She felt almost comfortable, seeing the other Order members gathered around the little table, Albus at the head. It was refreshing to know that, even after years of terror and pain, there was _someone_ doing something. Even a small organisation like this one. Almost comfortable. She couldn't be - not quite.

That's the issue with uncertainty. Uncertainty leads to doubt, and doubt gives way to mistrust, and mistrust eventually winds down the path to secrets and betrayal.

Betrayal. As she sat down, Minerva looked around the table. Most of the Order was there, having not had a meeting for months, and she found herself in a hopeless situation. Friends, colleagues, students. People she trusted. People she loved. People she admired. No-one she would ever want to lose.

One of them was a spy.

One of them had betrayed them all.

One of them was the servant of He-who-must-not-be-named.

And that thought was painful.

"Can we all settle down, please?" Albus asked, standing.

The friendly chatter ceased, giving was to a grim silence.

"We have updates from Remus, who couldn't be with us today. Fenrir Greyback has attacked more children and adults alike, expanding his pack and joining others. They are most definitely working for Voldemort." A few mutters rose from the group.

"And how is Remus?" Asked Sirius Black.

"He is fine. A little injured, a little uncomfortable, but fine. He has not been discovered."

"Fine? Fine hiding in a pack of bloodthirsty savages?"

"I am glad for your concern, but I assure you that Mr. Lupin is willing to continue on his mission."

Sirius wavered under the piercing gaze of Dumbledore, and sat back down, still seeming worried. He muttered something to Peter Pettigrew.

Albus continued, his voice solemn. "I am sure you heard about the Bones family. Their loss is a heavy blow to all of us, but we must live through this. If we want the Darkness to be quelled, we must continue fighting.

"And now, I must tell you of a recent revelation. There is a spy in the Order."

Minerva had already known this, but she shivered at the announcement. The problem had been directly addressed, and throwing it into the light made it all the more painful.

The room was no longer quiet. Everyone was talking, their hushed voices rising louder and louder. Minerva remained silent, instead watching the individual reactions. Albus was eerily calm, sitting back in his seat and watching everyone as she was. Beside him, Aberforth was talking to Caradoc Dearborn, whose beard was trembling as he spoke angrily. Benjy Fenwick looked shocked and slightly disgusted as he spoke - presumably to himself, as everyone around him was occupied. Marlene McKinnon and Emmeline Vance were next to each other, looking around warily and occasionally exchanging worried looks. The Prewett twins were shooting suspicious looks to Dorcas Meadowes, who sat alone and was looking dejectedly at the ground, probably mourning the loss of Edgar Bones, who had been her friend and fellow Hufflepuff since first year at Hogwarts. Minerva's eyes passed over the empty seats where Lily and James Potter usually sat, wondering how the baby was, all locked up in a house with no fresh air. The Longbottoms might be having the same problems, and their chairs sat empty too. Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew looked incomplete without the figures of James and Remus beside them. Peter was clearly terrified, his eyes wide and cheeks pale, while Sirius looked grim, as if he'd come to a resolution. Mundungus Fletcher, Arabella Figg and Elphias Doge were discussing something in very low tones, sounding angry, then put out. The tiny figure of Dedalus Diggle sat beside Hagrid, and they each clutched a glass of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey, drinking away the pain and anger and sadness and terror of the last few years. Finally Minerva watched Alastor Moody as he trudged towards Dumbledore, limping from his new wooden leg and twitching his nose, which he had recently lost a significant piece of.

The whole room was not as it usually was. It was not buzzing with determination. Everyone seemed beaten. Everyone had given up.

That's the problem with betrayal. It eats away at the soul.

* * *

Minerva witnessed many events over the next year. She survived a Hallowe'en so horrific that many families didn't survive the night. A Christmas that came with tidings of death and destruction - she had seen blood spilt on the snow of Christmas day. A New Year that looked bleaker than the last. An Easter that brought more death than life. A summer illuminated not with the light of the sun but rather with the green glow of the killing curse and the Dark Mark. A year of horrors past imagination.

The Order were losing numbers. Soon Caradoc and Benjy and Dorcas and Fabian and Gideon and Marlene were all gone, and the Order became only a handful of people. Albus Dumbledore was being attacked from all sides. Remus Lupin was unable to return to the pack, having been discovered and brutally attacked. Sirius Black was being targeted by Death Eaters for his lineage. James and Lily Potter were in hiding, along with the Longbottoms. The rest had run or had disappeared or were hiding too. Of course, even those who had run attended the odd meeting. Even those in hiding contacted Albus (in code, for fear of being discovered). And there was a spy in the Order.

Hopeless. Maybe if they were all trustworthy, they could keep it together. They could exchange all the happy news they had, cheer each other up. But they weren't. Information of any kind was secret and happiness was a weakness. Happiness would easily be exploited.

And the Order was nothing anymore. All the hope Minerva had held for defeating He-who-must-not-be-named was gone, and for now she sat tight in her office with her wand in reach.

Friends had become suspects, suspects had become enemies. Nobody could be trusted. Every turn of a road, she would look, vigilant and careful. She avoided dark corners and chose advantageous seats in cafes. The whole of the remaining Order was paranoid for another attack. Who would it be next?

Nobody told each other anything. The rare meetings were quiet and full of dark looks, suspicion. Minerva hadn't told anyone about her new baby niece. She didn't take the risk of teaching her students anything beyond the curriculum. She never mentioned her association with Dumbledore, even to her closest friends. She didn't even know if her friends were even her friends. She didn't know if she could trust them. Every shadow was a lurking enemy. Every stranger was a spy. Every glow of a street lamp was the Dark Mark.

Minerva McGonagall didn't know what trust was anymore. No-one did.

Minerva had been informed that the Potters had cast the fidelius charm two weeks before, and now, on Hallowe'en, she was beyond scared for the young couple and their son. The death toll of this date last year had amounted to great numbers.

And really, did anyone know who to trust?

Hallowe'en last year had given her nightmares to last for centuries. She had seen sweets spilling out of baskets, splattered with scarlet liquid. She had heard screams - not from scary costumes or decorations, but from real fear as innocent children and parents were slaughtered. She had run like a coward from a gang of people dressed in black, laughing and setting fire to muggle houses. And afterwards, when the sun had risen, she'd seen blood running in rivers down drains and through gutters. This year….

She watched the moon rise.

Hallowe'en 1981 had come.

* * *

 **Wow, was that dark or what? Is it bad to enjoy writing things like that? Evil things?**

 **I love Minerva's POV so much! Tell me what you think (reviews are VERY welcome)!**


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